Korzystając z tego, że miałem w miarę luźną niedzielę, którą postanowiłem spędzić sam ze sobą, to zrobiłem rajd po wszystkich możliwych forach internetowych, by zasięgnąć „wiedzy” stricte damsko-męskiej.
Niestety wiem mniej, niż wiedziałem, a ów wiedza w większości jest, jakby to powiedzieć, nic niewarta.
Aczkolwiek, każde z tych miejsc to kopalnia poglądów, żywe dyskusje, ale też jedna wielka wojna płci…
Dowiedziałem się wiele o tym, jacy są faceci, a jakie są kobiety… I jestem ciekaw, w którym momencie rozpoczęliśmy między sobą batalię płci…
Najgorsze w tym wszystkim jest chyba to, że każda strona trzyma się swoich racji i zamyka się w swojej narracji.
Może właśnie dlatego, wszyscy chcą mieć rację, a przez to tam mało mamy relacji…
„Forumiasta wiedza” zakłada, że kobiety są najlepsze i skomplikowane, za to faceci prości (zdarzało się, że też prostaccy) i posiadają jeden dżojstik, którym wystarczy poruszać i już są szczęśliwi.
Moim zdaniem, podkreślam moim zdaniem, uważam, że kobiety nie są skomplikowane, trzeba tylko wiedzieć, jak z nimi rozmawiać, a faceci nie są prości w swojej naturze.
Co do dżojstika, to też jest mit, bo nie każda potrafi nim dobrze poruszać, ale to zostawię sobie na osobny wpis, gdyż ów wajcha nie jest kluczowa do osiągnięcia szczęścia.
I jeszcze jedno tytułem wstępu, najwięcej komplikujemy sobie sami, a potem się dziwimy, że relacje nam nie wychodzą.
Widziałem w komentarzach setki słów na temat tego, że faceci to są ciamajdy i to kobieta decyduje, kiedy zostanie zdobyta, że zrozumienie kobiety jest trudniejsze niż odkrycie życia w kosmosie, zatem nie warto próbować, tylko kochać mimo wszystko.
Faceci znowu pragną tylko seksu, jedzenia i spokoju. Jak na zawołanie można brać ich do łóżka, bo zawsze im się chce, można ich owijać sobie wokół palca, ogólnie są łatwi w sterowaniu. A raczej jesteśmy łatwi.
I ok! Pytanie tylko jest jedno, skoro naprawdę jesteśmy tacy banalnie prości, to czemu w większości wypowiedzi jesteśmy chujami, z którymi nie można się dogadać.
Przecież instrukcja jest prosta, w myśl tego, co wyczytałem. Nakarmić, chwycić za wajchę i dać spokój.
Więcej, czemu coraz więcej jest samotnych kobiet i mężczyzn. Czemu coraz więcej kobiet stwierdza, że prawdziwych mężczyzn już nie ma? Czemu faceci zdradzają, bo nie mają w związku tego, co mogą dostać poza nim? Czemu kobiety mając kochającego faceta, biegają za tymi łobuzami, którzy traktują je jak przedmioty? Dlaczego powstają książki o uwodzeniu, kursy o radzeniu sobie z facetami, webinary o leczeniu złamanych serduszek?
Dlaczego tak wiele kobiet powtarza, że facet myśli tylko o jednym i łatwiej z nim się przespać niż stworzyć dom…
Jestem gotowy jak nigdy na kolejne „pochlebne komentarze” pod tym wpisem, ale uważam, że to wszystko nie świadczy o tym, że my faceci jesteśmy prostolinijni, to świadczy tylko o tym, że wiele kobiet w swoim osobistym mniemaniu odfrunęła za daleko i straciła kontakt z rzeczywistością… Bo skoro jesteśmy prości, to czemu sobie z nami nie radzicie?
Myślę, że jeżeli coś jest proste, to znaczy, że nie stwarza problemów. Prawda?
Jeżeli proste jest zrobienie czegoś, to robi się to cały czas. A jeżeli nie można, to znaczy, że trzeba się do tego przygotować, poświęcić temu czas, by to zrozumieć.
Gdybyśmy byli dla was prości, to miliony komentarzy o tym, że jest z nami ciężko i chuje z nas, zniknęłyby z Internetu, a większość związku przypominałaby sielanki.
Co za tym idzie, chore, nie bójmy się tego słowa, poglądy o prostocie mężczyzn sprawiają, że zamiast rozwiązywać problemy, szukać ich źródła, bardziej skupiacie się na narzekaniu niż działaniu.
Jednak, żeby zacząć działać i coś z tym zrobić, trzeba przyjąć do wiadomości fakt, że nie wszystko o nas wiecie i wcale nie jesteś prości pod względem uczuć, emocji, marzeń czy planów. Trzeba zrobić swój, ślepo-poglądowy, krok wstecz, by to dostrzec.
I zaraz usłyszę, że pierdolę głupoty, bo ja znam takiego, takiego, takiego, a moje koleżanki co chwilę trafiają na prostaków.
Otóż nasz mózg działa tak, że ma Cię utwierdzać w słuszności tego, w co wierzysz, zatem po prostu podsuwa Ci wszystko to, co ma udowodnić, że faceci są, jacy są, jeśli dodamy do tego prawo przyciągania, w które wierzę, to mamy gotowy scenariusz na tragikomedię, za którą jesteście w dużej mierze odpowiedzialne.
I to ma zdecydowanie szersze zastosowanie. Jeżeli zakładacie z góry, że faceci są prości, łatwi, ubodzy emocjonalnie i tak dalej… To wrzucacie w ten obraz wszystkich spotkanych gości na swojej drodze. To jak jedno wielkie sabotowanie swoich działań. Często ludzie są tacy, jak ich traktujemy. Stają się odzwierciedleniem naszych czynów, względem nich.
Jak się czujesz czy zachowujesz, kiedy podświadomie masz wrażenie, że ktoś podchodzi do Ciebie w kategorii „łatwizny, która nic nie czuje”?
No właśnie…
Zatem może warto odrzucić tezę, że my faceci, jesteśmy prości, a skupić się na zbudowaniu nowego poglądu. Ludzie oddają sobie to, co otrzymują, przynajmniej tak to powinno działać.
I to jest wskazówka dla obu płci, ktoś mi ją kiedyś dał.
Chcesz mieć kochającą i czułą osobę przy sobie, to w taki sposób ją traktuj.
O wiele więcej możemy sobie dać, jako ludzie odrzucają wszystko to, co założone z góry. O wiele więcej możemy poczuć, kiedy podejdziemy do siebie z otwartością na poznanie i zrozumienie siebie.
Przynajmniej ja tak myślę…
Więcej tekstów i wskazówek znajdziesz w moich książkach.
Tutaj kupisz moją nową książkę – Książka – Trochę słów o Tobie… Trochę słów o mnie…
A tutaj pierwszą – Książka – Na własnych zasadach
A teraz spójrz, nie chodzi tutaj o to, czy postawisz wirtualną kawę… Chodzi o to, że mnie wesprzesz, pokazując, że moje słowa mają dla Ciebie znaczenie i lubisz mnie czytać…
Kliknij i postaw mi wirtualną kawę!
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96 comments
Szkoda, że dopiero teraz odkryłeś tę batalię między płciami, ale lepiej późno niż wcale. To między innymi, dlatego niektórzy ludzie (w tym osoby z niepełnosprawnością) nie mogą kogoś znaleźć. Skromni ludzie nie chcą mieć z tym syfem nic wspólnego
A kto powiedział, że dopiero teraz odkryłem.
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