Zaczynałem pisać publicznie, jakieś 6 lat temu. Tak mnie naszło na wspomnienia trochę. Od tego czasu wiele się zmieniło. Bardzo wiele. Kilka tekstów musiałbym mocno zweryfikować. Pod kilkoma już, bym się nie podpisać. I to jest fajne, bo to znaczy, że zmienia się perspektywa, poglądy się poszerzają i dają miejsce na zmianę. Słuchamy się nawzajem i weryfikujemy. Uważam, że to jest ważne, żeby mówić, ale też słuchać i rozumieć. Starać się zrozumieć.
Od tego czasu kilkanaście osób wróżyło mi też, że szybko się skończę. A mnie ciągle widać. Tańczę sobie i rzucam kolejnymi słowami.
Przez ten czas bardzo wiele się o sobie dowiedziałem, poznałem się lepiej, kilka razy robiłem korektę życiowego kursu.
Druga strona medalu, bo medal strony ma dwie. I druga strona medalu zawsze opowiada o tym, czego dowiedziałem się o sobie od osób, które mnie nie znają.
Bo… Najwięcej wiedzą o nas Ci, którzy nas nie znają. Pamiętajcie o tym. I jedyna wskazówka, żeby nie zwariować, to po prostu mieć wyjebane.
Bo podobno rzeczy, które opisuję są nierealne, brutalne, pojebane, bajkowe… Ogrom opinii. Rozstrzał porównań. To trochę tak, jakby złoty jednorożec, któregoś dnia wpierdolił na wiejski festyn i ponabijał wszystkich na swój róg. Jest z jednej strony bajkowo, bo jednorożec, z drugiej brutalnie. Prawda?
Czy jest romantykiem? Bywam.
Czy jestem sarkastyczny? Do bólu.
Czy jestem szaleńcem? Największym.
Czy wierzę w to, co piszę? W chuj wierzę.
Mam w głowie wielką maszynę do pisania i myśli cały czas stukają i tworzą kolejne teksty, paradoksalnie najlepsze teksty tworzę wtedy, kiedy nie mogę ich zapisać. Mam w głowie idealistyczny rozpierdol, który ogarniam z gracją.
Czy ciężko jest wierzyć w miłość? Tak, w dzisiejszym świecie bardzo ciężko. Nie ukrywam tego, nie też nie ukrywam tego, że wszystko byłoby prostsze, gdyby ludzie przestali kombinować i zaczęli czuć.
Większość natomiast wychodzi z pozycji braku i zawiedzenia. To słaby punkt startowy.
Większość niestety buduje siebie, swój obraz na braku pewności i wiary we własne możliwości.
Jeżeli wychodzi do świata bez przekonania, to ten świat niestety Cię szybko weryfikuje.
Jeżeli nie wierzysz w siebie, to czemu drugi człowiek miałby uwierzyć w Ciebie i zechcieć z Tobą być.
Słyszę nawet, że jestem seksistą. Ja? Jestem idealistą i do tego niepoprawnym, niereformowalnym. Z seksizmem nic mnie nie łączy, z byciem seksownym już bardziej.
Uważam, że związki, które mają powodzenie na przetrwanie tworzyć powinny osoby silne. Tak, możesz się nie zgodzić. Jeżeli ktoś ma przewagę, wówczas dochodzi do dominacji i uległości albo uzależnienia i toksykacji.
Natomiast, jeżeli spotykają się dwie silne osoby, to ma to sens. Są jak najlepsi kumple, partnerzy, kochankowie. Jest mnogość możliwości docierania się i poznawania. Każdy trzyma swoją pozycję, a równocześnie opiera się ataki innych we dwoje.
Tak, uważam, że kobieta ma być partnerem, a nawet wyzwaniem. Ma podniecać i wkurwiać równocześnie. Ma być wsparciem i obrończynią własnego zdania. Inaczej, jaki ma to sens. Możesz mieć kobietę z krwi i kości, która potrafi wejść Ci pod skórę i parzyć nerwy, albo księżniczkę, która tylko potakuje i nie wie, jak o siebie zadbać.
Wybór, wszystko to kwestia wyboru.
I tutaj słyszę skowyt gości, że kobiety to tylko kasa i kasa. A kasa jest fajna, świadczy o zaradności i daje poczucie bezpieczeństwa. Zaraz usłyszę, że bronię kobiet i sram do własnego gniazda. Nie bronię i nie mieszkam w gnieździe. Mówię, jak jest.
Najwięcej mówią Ci, którzy nie zostali odrzuceni. Jak dostajesz kosza, to szukasz wytłumaczenia wszędzie, tylko nie w sobie. Jeśli kobieta Cię nie chce, to nie dlatego, że masz mało kasy czy cokolwiek. Może po prostu nie ma między Wami „tego czegoś” i zamiast ją wyzywać, warto zrozumieć i iść dalej. Jeszcze nie jedna da Ci w życiu kosza. Serio.
Znowu druga strona medalu. Przyciąga to czym kusisz. Jeśli jedyne, co masz do zaproponowania to kasa, to przyciągasz laski, dla których będziesz bankomatem. Ona zamiast głębi spojrzenia, ma pusty wzrok, w którym błyszczy przelicznik walut i kalkulator prezentów. To normalne. I tak jest skonstruowany świat, jeśli pozujesz na bankomat, to ona ciągnie Tobie i ciągnie z Twojego portfela proste.
A jeśli trafisz na taką, której na kasie nie zależy, bo sama potrafi o siebie zadbać, to nie wiesz, co zrobić. Sam widzisz, jak jest.
Sygnały, jakie wysyłasz do świata znajdują odbiorców. Zatem zadbaj o jakość tych sygnałów, to zobaczysz, że jest wiele wartościowych kobiet, które mają w dupie Twój portfel.
Kobiety natomiast mówią, że facetom zależy tylko na seksie i nie chcą się angażować.
Seks jest ważny i przyjemny, to fakt. I tutaj podobnie, jeżeli jedyne co możesz zaproponować to własną dupę, to poznasz tylko amatorów jednorazowych numerków. Kusisz ciałem, dostajesz w zamian ciało. A potem to ciało odchodzi, bo dostało to, czego chciało i wielki lament, że odszedł. Doszedł i odszedł, na chuj drążyć temat, jak już wszystko zostało wydrążone.
Tu też kłania się jakość sygnałów.
Bo wielu fajnych facetów nadziało się na kobiety, które zabawiły się ich uczuciami i postała trauma w głowie, że wszystkie są takie same. Wiele kobiet dało się przelecieć za obietnice i teraz myślą, że jak nie dadzą, to niczego nie dostaną.
Jakość sygnałów. Powtórzę się.
Problem polega na tym, że za bardzo skupiamy się na wrażeniu niż wyrażeniu.
Budowanie wrażenia jest jak z przygotowaniem się do roli w filmie. Tworzysz jakąś postać. W życiu jest podobnie. Większość to kreacje. Większość to role, jakie odgrywają, ukrywając swoje prawdziwe ja, bo świat woli ludzi bez skazy, idealnie wyfiltrowanych, bez martwień.
Większość ma maski. A kiedy ktoś podejdzie i spróbuje taką maskę zdjąć, to popadają w panikę. Łatwiej jest rozebrać i przelecieć niż odkryć swoje słabości i pozwolić poznać.
Nie wyrażamy siebie. Wyrażamy wyuczone poglądy, byle nikogo nie urazić, byle nie zburzyć domku z kart własnej osobowości. Nie pokazać za wiele.
Tymczasem nie można pokochać kreacji na dłuższą metę.
Kocha się ludzi, a nie ich wyreżyserowane postaci.
No kurwa, ja w to wierzę.
Ludzi się kocha, kiedy pozwolą Ci się rozebrać, kiedy zdejmą przed Tobą maski, kiedy pozbawisz ich łatek, które ktoś im nalepił, kiedy scałujesz każdą bliznę, jaką posiadają, kiedy dostrzeżesz i zaakceptujesz niedoskonałości, kiedy poznasz syf, z jaki musieli sobie poradzić, kiedy zrozumiesz, z jakimi demonami walczą na co dzień, kiedy poznasz, czego się boją.
Chodzi o miłość, a nie o ciało.
Kiedy odnajdujesz w drugim człowieku swoje podobieństwo, kiedy szukasz prawdy, która współgra z Twoją prawdą, kiedy wiesz, że możesz się odsłonić i nikt Ci nie przypierdoli, a Twoje słowa nie zostaną wykorzystane przeciwko Tobie.
Bycie razem to bycie na dobre i na złe. Balansowanie w skrajnościach, doświadczenia przeciążeń, kiedy ktoś jest wkurwiony, zmęczony, bezradny i wyciąga rękę, a Ty łapiesz tę rękę i nie puszczasz. Kiedy razem przechodzicie przez ogrom różnych sytuacji i ten człowiek ciągle jest za Tobą, to wówczas możesz powiedzieć, że się poznaliście, że Was coś łączy, że jest w tym sens. To tak naprawdę daje odpowiedź na pytanie „czy kochasz”.
Związki nie są schematyczne. Nie ma tak, że jeżeli zrobić to i to, otrzymasz to i to. Nie ma instrukcji, którą kiedy przeczytasz, to wszystko pójdzie dobrze i będziecie żyli długo i szczęśliwie. Kluczem jest słuchanie, zrozumienie i rozmowa.
I kiedy Wasz związek daje Wam radość, to macie to! A innym chuj do tego.
Związek to dwie osoby, bez wpierdalania się innych. Związek to nie połówki pomarańczy, jabłka, śliwki czy cholera wie czego. Związek to kobieta świadoma siebie, pewna swojej wartości i mężczyzna, który jest pewny siebie i świadomy. Potrafią funkcjonować w pojedynkę, świetnie sobie radzę, ale we dwoje jest radośniej.
Takie podejście wyklucza konieczność bycia razem na rzecz chęci bycia razem. A to subtelna różnica, kiedy mówisz komuś, że go nie potrzebujesz, ale chcesz, bo z Tobą wszystko jest bardziej, wszystko jest lepiej.
I takie podejście moim zdaniem na sens, tworzy związki, które mają szansę na powodzenie.
Naprawdę w to wierzę.
Tutaj kupisz moją drugą książkę – Książka – “Trochę słów o Tobie… Trochę słów o mnie…”
A tutaj pierwszą – Książka – “Na własnych zasadach”
Tutaj znajdziesz zestaw dwóch książek w promocyjnej cenie – dwie książki
Jeśli podobają Ci się bezpłatne treści, które tworzę na FB, IG i blogu, jeśli czerpiesz z nich wartość, to możesz mnie wesprzeć stawiając kawkę! Potraktujmy to, jako wyraz szacunku dla pracy i czasu, jaki tutaj zostawiam, a w zamian mam dla Ciebie mam fragment mojej książki!
Dziękuję, że jesteś! Kawę postawisz klikając w link:
228 comments
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