Wiesz, związek to pewnego rodzaju gra. Gra, w której wygrywasz, kiedy grasz we dwoje. Kiedy strzelacie do wspólnej bramki, dobierasz podobne karty, interesują Cię podobne nieruchomości w Monopoly. Wtedy WYGRYWACIE.
Prawda jest jednak taka, że większość z nas przegrywa. Kurwa przegrywa, dlatego, że grają w zupełnie różne gry, gry, w których zasady są niespójne ze sobą nawzajem.
Powoduje to, że obie strony zamiast działać razem zaczynają rywalizować, a co za tym idzie duszą się w emocjonalnej papce oczekiwań zmieszanych z rzeczywistością. Facet zaczyna udawać, że uwielbia zakupy, seriale, komedie romantyczne, chętnie rezygnuje ze swoich pasji na rzecz wspólnych chwil i ogólnie przeradza się w ciepłego pantofla bez własnego zdania, które porzucił w imię świętego spokoju. Ona znów namiętnie odgrywa kolejne orgazmy zamiast rozmawiać o swoich potrzebach, zaczyna interesować się piłką nożną i atlasem ćwiczeń z siłowni, a szpilki i seksowna koszula nocna to jej obowiązkowy strój do łóżka ZAWSZE.
To wszystko sprawia że każde z nich zmierza ku frustracji i emocjonalnej paranoi, która z czasem rozsadzi wszystko z siłą bomby nuklearnej, która wywróci do góry nogami wszystkie dotychczasowe słowa i zapewnienia i przeciągnie za sobą sterty dawno nie pranych brudów i pretensji zamiatanych od dawna pod dywan. Taka prawda. Przegrywają wszyscy.
We wspólnej grze chodzi o jasność zasad, własne zdanie, własną przestrzeń i rozmowę.
“Kocham Cię, ale wkurwia mnie…”, “Popracujmy nad tym razem, by osiągnąć…”, “Potrzebuję trochę czasu dla siebie, bo po prostu tak mam i wcale nie znaczy to, że kocham Cię mniej…”, “Podnieca mnie… Zrób tak…Mocniej… Wolniej….”, “Rozumiem, że…, ale w takim razie następnym razem zrobimy po mojemu…”.
Warto ustalić swoje zasady na początku, a nie kastrować się emocjonalnie i dusić próbując dopracowywać je w trakcie.
Bo gra we dwoje w oparciu o wspólne zasady z pewnością zapewni zwycięstwo. Zwycięstwo we dwoje.
Więcej tekstów, w których z pewnością znajdziesz coś dla siebie, jest w moich książkach.
Tutaj kupisz moją nową książkę – Książka – “Trochę słów o Tobie… Trochę słów o mnie…”
A tutaj pierwszą – Książka – “Na własnych zasadach”
Tutaj znajdziesz zestaw dwóch książek w promocyjnej cenie – dwie książki
A może plakat? Zobacz kolekcję plakatów – Plakaty
Jeśli podobają Ci się bezpłatne treści, które tworzę na FB, IG i blogu, jeśli czerpiesz z nich wartość, to możesz mnie wesprzeć stawiając kawkę! Potraktujmy to, jako wyraz szacunku dla pracy i czasu, jaki tutaj zostawiam, a w zamian mam dla Ciebie mam fragment mojej książki!
Dziękuję, że jesteś! Kawę postawisz klikając w link:
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Celne refleksje jednak jak to w życiu bywa najlepiej uczymy się na własnych błędach, więc każdy sam musi przejść własną drogę zbierania doświadczeń. Żeby później wiedzieć z kim i na jakich zasadach chce budować relację.
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