Wiesz, tak mi się wydaje, że obecnie nie wystarczy już tylko kochać.
Trzeba kochać mądrze.
To taka miłość w pełni świadoma, która faktycznie uskrzydla poprzez subtelne połączenie wspólnej więzi i osobistej przestrzeni. Miłość to nie jest złota klatka, mydlana bańka, w której jesteście zamknięci przed światem otoczeni różową poświatą szczęścia tylko we dwoje. Takie bańki zazwyczaj pękają z mega pierdolnięciem, ewentualnie kastrują osobowościowo jedną z osób, w najgorszym wypadku obie, a pomimo tego trwa się w tej operze mydlanej, bo wiadomo lepszy swój upiór w garści niż ktoś wartościowy na dachu.
Chodzi mi o to, że miłość to wymagania, wzajemne wymagania. I to dotyczy obu stron. Do tego dochodzi ciężka emocjonalna praca, którą trzeba wykonywać każdego dnia. A nam się wydaje, że związek działa na zasadzie “jesteśmy razem i chuj. Teraz wszystko będziemy robić we dwoje w imię naszej wielkiej miłości #bigloveforevertogetherkisshug“.
Otóż nie. Związek to relacja opierająca się na dwóch niezależnych jednostkach, które mają pełne prawo do swojej przestrzeni i pasji. To, co z tego wynoszą, wkładają we wspólną relację. To doświadczenia, spostrzeżenia, wnioski, tematy do dyskusji. Rozumiesz?
Spędzając ze sobą dwadzieścia cztery godziny na dobę, pozbawiacie się tej przestrzeni, wystawiacie się na rutynę, biegnięcie jak w horrorach w stronę pokoju, w którym wcale nie straszy tylko wieje nudą. Dlatego uważam, że związek, zdrowy związek to połączenie czasu spędzanego we dwoje i czasu spędzanego osobno i mam tutaj na myśli czas na realizowanie siebie, by potem móc być, się realizować we dwoje. Bo czas spędzony z samym sobą prowadzi do zrozumienia siebie, pokochania siebie i bycia szczęśliwym sam ze sobą, by ostatecznie móc się tym szczęście dzielić z drugą osobą.
Zrozumienie tego to znaczący krok w stronę dojrzałej relacji, która stworzy więzi na lata. Przynajmniej takie jest moje zdanie.
A do wszystkich “wielce zakochanych, miłością wieczną”, która trwa już wieczne-pół roku. Pamiętajcie. Usuwanie wspólnych zdjęć z Instagram’a trochę trwa…
29 comments
Cześç
A propos rutyny, co myślisz o parach które razem pracują?
Jeżeli potrafią to rozgraniczyć, to nie widzę przeszkód.
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