Miłość? Lokata? Zwrot z inwestycji?
Tak, wiem jak to brzmi… Strasznie i pewnie wiele osób ma teraz oczy jak złotówki czytając ten wstęp, ale spójrzmy na to zupełnie inaczej.
Zanim powiesz sobie w głowie, że miłość jest bezinteresowna, cudowna, romantyczna i takie tam inne “ohy” i “ahy”, to pozwól, że coś Ci powiem.
Cokolwiek sobie pomyślisz po tym tekście, to wierz mi, że ja się z Tobą zgadzam i chciałbym również dodać kilka słów od siebie.
Związek dwojga ludzi to pewnego rodzaju inwestycja we wspólną przyszłość. Nie inwestujesz, co prawda, pieniędzy, ale dajesz drugiej osobie swój czas, emocje, uczucia i zaufanie. Kredyt zaufania. Tak się mówi. Czasem ten kredyt przepada bezpowrotnie, ale to nie o tym będzie ten tekst.
Początki są usłane różami. Zazwyczaj. Spotykacie się, tęsknicie, nie możecie się sobą nacieszyć. Gdziekolwiek nie pójdziecie towarzyszy Wam chór skowronku, które radośnie śpiewają miłosne piosnki, a gdzie nie postawicie stóp, tam eksplodują bukiety róż, które przyozdabiają Waszą drogę…
Na tym etapie wszystko jest pięknie. Wspólne plany, obietnice deklaracje. Słowa fruwają wokół Was, oplatając, przylepiając się do Was i wypełniając wizją przyszłości we dwoje. FOREVER LOVE wyryte nie tyle, co na drzewie, a w mózgu… To nic nie kosztuje na tym etapie. Ot, taka darmowa porcja wielkich słów wypowiadanych pod wpływem rodzącego się zakochania.
Prawda jest taka, że każdy wnosi coś do relacji. Wartości, emocje, czas to nic innego jak wkład własny. Problemy zaczynają się w momencie, kiedy ktoś daje więcej niż otrzymuje, Znasz to? Ja znam to doskonale. Pojawiają się pierwszy ryski na idealnej szklanej bańce, w której dryfujecie… Niestety wiele osób wciąż żyje w przekonaniu, że należy dawać jak najwięcej i nie liczyć na nic, bo miłość powinna być bezinteresowna. Owszem, ślepa miłość taka jest, a potem budzisz się, patrzysz w lustro i widzisz, że się rozpadasz… Zainwestowałeś, zainwestowałaś i się najnormalniej w świecie się nastąpiło przeinwestowanie.
Co zrobić, żeby zachować swoje środki i zbierać z nich odsetki?
Tutaj znowu posłużę się typowo bankowymi porównaniami. Może nawet giełdowymi.
Po prostu inwestuj z głową. Małe kwoty. i sprawdzaj czy jest zwrot z inwestycji. Chodzi o to, że nie grasz od razu wszystkim tym, co masz. Nie rzucasz wszystkich środków, jakimi dysponujesz w nadziei, że ktoś odpłaci Ci się tym samym…
Czy to brutalne? Nie to podejście zdroworozsądkowe.
Dajesz, obserwujesz, sprawdzasz.
Często mówię o wzajemności i zdrowym egoizmie. I wciąż będę podtrzymywał swoje zdanie. Znasz siebie, szanujesz siebie, więc nie pozwól się wykorzystywać. Jeżeli trafisz na kogoś, kto to doceni, to cudownie. Wzajemnie będzie dawać sobie to, co najlepsze. Budować związek oparty na współpracy i partnerstwie. I to jest fajne! Jednak może zdarzyć się też tak, że przeinwestujesz… Przyzwyczaisz kogoś tylko do brania i potem nagle zaczniesz mieć pretensje, że nie dostajesz niczego w zamian. A z jakiej racji? Dawałaś czy dawałeś bez opamiętania, nie upominając się o to samo, więc osobę winną za to możesz zobaczyć, patrząc w lustro.
I kiedy zauważysz to, że dajesz więcej niż otrzymujesz, to masz dwa wyjścia. Zwrócić drugiej osobie uwagę, licząc na to, że zrozumie i Cię doinwestuje lub po prostu zamknąć lokatę, zabrać swoje środki i iść dalej, w poszukiwaniu lepszy źródeł zarobku.
Tak. Wiem jak to strasznie brzmi, ale z drugiej strony nie powiesz mi, że ten przykład nie jest trafiony.
Wnioski?
Lokuj uczucia tam, gdzie będę wzrastać i się pomnażać, z kimś, kto zainwestuje w Ciebie, tak jak Ty w niego.
A teraz spójrz, nie chodzi tutaj o to, czy zostaniesz moim patronem lub postawisz wirtualną kawę… Chodzi o to, że mnie wesprzesz, pokazując, że moje słowa mają dla Ciebie znaczenie i lubisz mnie czytać…
Kliknij i postaw mi wirtualną kawę!
131 comments
Dla mnie to nie brzmi źle ani strasznie. Może dlatego, że raz zainwestowałam zbyt dużo psychicznie, a drugi raz…. Jeszcze długo będę spłacać długi. Takie normalne, finansowe. Długo trwała nauka. W sumie 24 lata. I już nie chcę inwestycji i lokat. Chcę żeby było na pół. Może nic nie zyskam, ale i nie stracę siebie.
Tego Ci życzę!
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